The Shrinking Violets

a platform for two dance artists to explore, comment on and debate the performance environment they situate themselves in.

Creative Risks

               

Would I bungee jump?

Yes…If I was with somebody else.

My sister asked me this question and my answer caught me off guard. Its sentiments could originate with being a hopeless romantic but then one can’t ignore the morbidity apparent in my thinking that if I died mid-bungee, at least I would take someone else with me. We would die together.

I do not think that this is an okay thought to have.

Would I really only risk plunging a fair amount of feet if I had someone I could scream with and clutch on to? Regardless of whether this is spineless or undeniably human, as an artist, shouldn’t I be ready and willing to take certain risks alone?

After all, if I did bungee jump by myself, (and survived), not only would the risk have paid off with the bubbling, inner-glory and triumph that accompanies achievement in the face of fear, I could also usefully pave the way to experience what it is to own one’s success.

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I am afraid of flying.

I frequently comfort my fear by forcing myself to wonder if I am satisfied with my life. For example, ‘If I had to go now, would I be alright with that?’ Yes, these are morbid thoughts for a spirited 25 year old but the paths my thoughts take are effective in two ways. Firstly, I realise that I am usually fine with my life and so the prospect of leaving loses some of its terror, and more light-heartedly, I do distract myself from the fact that I am in the air. My point is that I am not as afraid as I think I am.

As the year 2011 closed, so too did some work contracts and relationships. Rather than feel barren, I have an unalterable sense of looking forward to 2012. This has nothing to do with the fact that other work contracts are in place. No, although grateful for concrete projects, my optimism comes from feeling quite in tune with the year’s potential and a desire to find out if I can enjoy the unknown. If I can, I think I will be a more satisfied freelancer.

One aspect I do know however is that the year 2012 will be quite dead unless I take any risks.

So, I will risk making new work and risk not caring so much about what other people think.

I will face the fact that my interests in contemporary dance have changed from when I was training and that now, I need to find out exactly how I want to engage with the field of dance and performance. I will use how unsettled dance can make me feel rather than feel unsettled by it.

Also, I can occasionally leave a dance show spitting but I vow to never be bitter. I will contain my hiss without quietening my tongue.

 

 

 

(Source: life123.com)

  1. theshrinkingviolets posted this
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